Holy crap, it's an "Oral Sex Light"
...Oral Sex Light
I swear on my life you can actually buy this. Here's the hard sell from the product page
Our ergonomically contoured light will brighten up the moment and enable you to never lose sight of what's right in front of you. Enjoy the hands-free, fully adjustable light when foolin' around under the covers
This is absurdly practical,...
