Eyes Wide Open - How to Survive A Blind Date

By Tim Blackstock

"You've got to meet her; dude, she's hot!" "He's a great guy. If I weren't already taken, I'd go out with him myself."

Ah, friends. They laugh with us, tell us when we have spinach in our teeth and if we're lucky, they'll try and set us up with someone who is just perfect for us. And if we're really lucky - they do it more than once.

The blind date. We hear about the success stories but more than often we hear about the disasters or, even worse, the non-spark, no big deal stories. Our friends, it seems, don't know us as well as they think they do.

Face it, part of the excitement (or stress) of the blind date is wondering if our friends do have enough insight to actually select someone who could potentially be a long term partner. For those rare times when you have that spontaneous combustion, we are relieved everything turned out ok. For those times when it was a complete disaster, we wonder if we should ever speak with our friends again, and for those times that are just plain uneventful, a slap across the back of their head would make us feel better. If only there was some way to make the process less stressful and more enjoyable whether the sparks fly or not...

How to Have a Successful Blind Date

Your blind date can be as successful as the date where you made the arrangements yourself. It doesn't mean the date will turn into a second date; it doesn't mean the two of you will even like each other. What it means is you won't want to rip your hair out and your friend's face off. Listen to us - we won't lead you blind.

Step One - Don't Believe What Your Friends Tell You

Your friends are blind. They are blinded by their thinking they've done something wonderful by finding the exact person you've been waiting for. They're blinded by their own good deed to really be thinking about you. So when they tell you they've found that perfect person, don't believe them. Instead, enter the situation having no expectations at all. You are going out on a first date and nothing more. Don't expect the earth to move unless you're having dinner at a construction site.

Step Two - Treat it like another Date

Call to introduce yourself or call back if they make the introductory call. Find out some likes and dislikes if you're the one making the arrangements. Offer suggestions if you're the one being asked about what you'd like to do. Keep it simple. Keep it fun. Keep it real. Be on time. Be prepared to talk. Be prepared to want to hear about the other person and engage them in conversation. This is a date created by a unique circumstance but you still need to have your A game. This isn't the time to try a new personality or do something you wouldn't normally do - you're already doing something unusual. Let the strangeness end there.

Step Three - Inexpensive is OK, Cheap Is Out and Breaking the Bank is Just Plain Foolish

There's nothing wrong with meeting for a free concert in the park if that's what the two of you agree to do. But make sure you don't buy her a hot dog from the vendor if the usual fare is everyone brings their own picnic. A nice bottle of wine. A lunch that is slightly upscale but not one that would break the bank and also tastes good is a guarantee that something goes right even if the two of you decide never to see each other again.

Also, don't try to impress him/her by suggesting or going to the most expensive place in town. Dating rules apply to blind dates as well as those with all eyes open. Unless you're used to going or be taken to upscale, five star any place, do what you normally do. You'll find out soon enough whether you're with someone who feels entitled or unimpressed. You don't need to break the budget and you shouldn't expect to on the first date.

Step Four - Don't Go To A Movie

To go to a movie, you have to know how to be quiet with a person and you won't know how to do that until you know how to speak to each other and when you go to a movie, you have to know how to do both and you don't know how to do either yet. So just don't go.

Step Five - End On A High Note

Unless the two of you were at each other's throats, the evening probably wasn't bad. You acted well, stayed true to who you were and didn't have unrealistic expectations. If you had enough of a great time that you would like to see him/her again. Say so - simply and easily. Tell them you would like to see them again and ask if you can call or ask that they call you.

If it was nice, but something you wouldn't want to repeat, don't be rude about it. Remember, you have a friend who thought you would be good together so play nice a little longer. You can tell the truth that you'll probably see them around here and there and it will be nice to see a yet another friendly face. Don't worry - it's a rare thing that one person would rate the date a ten and the other a one. We know when something clicks and when it doesn't.

Besides, if you followed step one, you didn't over invest emotionally enough to be heartbroken.

Step Six - Be Willing to do it Again

At best, you might meet some interesting people; get some new friends, and perhaps a solid relationship. At worse, you've got some stories to share at the next party.

Beauty411 spotlights the Lancome C'est Magnifique Holiday Collection. Stop by and enter the giveaway for Le Vernis Nailcolor in Midnight Glam!

I Heart Heels is totally loving Rock & Republic Cosmetics. Check out the review!

The Advice Sisters feels "Diversion" is a serious issue in the beauty industry you should know about but she's also been blogging about holiday beauty, too!

It also happens to be the holiday season, so spending, despite these tough times, is in order. Add to all the trauma: you're pregnant. So you have unforeseen bills piling up ahead, and, rather than sugarplums dancing in your head, you have visions of dollar signs: diapers, baby food, preschool, college. Oh, and don't forget that your jeans no longer fit.

Okay, don't freak out. You don't have to spend a fortune on a new maternity wardrobe that you'll only wear for a season. You see, you're lucky. Maternity wardrobes are totally up-to-date, no matter how much they cost. Because they're all new. And if you're going to buy buy buy right now, why not buy buy buy and spend a little less?

I am SO impressed with the samples of Motherhood Maternity I received. All their fall items were exactly the "in" colors and cuts. LOVE this Long Sleeve Cable Knit sweater and the cardigan, featured above.. And if you're going on vacation, Motherhood has great summer-wear in their new arrivals category.

And extra attention needs to go to Motherhood's Secret Fit Belly(TM) bi-stretch panel. This patented panel is thiner than the panels of my pregnancies. In fact, its as thin as a cami, perfect for layering. So it also has a multi-stretch... it stretches up, down and side-to-side, to fit any belly, your belly, any stage. Yes, that means that you no longer have to buy by the trimester. You, being pregnant now, are fortunate enough to be able wear Secret Fit Belly pants throughout your pregnancy. They're available in jeans, cords and pants, skirts, capris and shorts (vacation!) with several leg styles. Keeping you in style, for a lower price (all for less than $45, and as low as $9.99!)

Feel a little better now? You can almost start to bring back images of sugarplums tonight. Your maternity wardrobe is going to cost you a lot less this season.

While you're shopping, take a minute to enter their $1000 sweepstakes. Diapers... they're less than 9 months away.

Must-Reads:

• A new skincare product called Vavelta claims to completely restructure damaged skin. However, you might lose your appetite over the main ingredient. 

• Five lucky readers will win a copy of Bobbi Brown's Makeup Manual. But you only have until Wednesday to enter this incredible giveaway. 

• Finally, control-top tights that suck you in without sucking the life out of you. We found affordable pairs that work wonders. 

• 50% off streamlined cashmere sweaters at Shopbop

• Get your extravagant Jimmy Choo fix for 40% off at Net-a-Porter

• Up to 48% off classic button-downs at Ralph Lauren

• Which soft yellow cashmere costs less right now?

• Which cuffed rain boots keep you dry for less cash?

We Appreciate It...

• We'd like to thank this week's advertisers: Bare Necessities, UrbanMinx, Barneys, NYMag.com, Sassy City Chicks, Bubbles Bodywear, Relios, Jala Designs, The Fine Art of Family, and Curiology. Click here to find out how to advertise with SheFinds.        

What: $200 to spend at AnonymousVenice.com

Why: With wares inspired by the fashion-forward locals in Venice Beach, CA, Anonyous Venice bills itself as the place “where LA style is born.” But whether you’re a surfer gal or more of a classic dresser, you’ll find something fabulous at this extensive online store.

How: Go to AnonymousVenice.com and shop around for $200 worth of items you love. Then come back to this post and leave a comment about what you’d buy, and we’ll enter you to win.

And at prices this reasonable, you could build a whole new outfit for $200, but we’d focus on the great jeans, jackets and simple jewelry.

We’d snatch up the Yag Double Breasted Jacket, because this cotton coat is the kind of piece we’re always looking for during ‘in-between’ weather – and it’s a steal at $60. Then we’d get a pair of the Samantha Trouser Pocket Jeans; they’re just what office-appropriate denim should look like.

After adding a Domed Metal Ring and a silver metal cuff to our cart, too, we’d still have $12 left over!

Your turn: tell us what you’d buy below for a chance to win.

Can’t wait to win? Shop Anonymous Venice’s gift guide by price or b your relationship with the recipient.

And don’t forget to check out MomFinds for a chance to win a $50 Macy’s gift card and a $50 Borders gift card from Aleve.

1. Post in the comments section about what you’d buy with $200 from AnonymousVenice.com.

2. You must supply us with a valid email address and sign up for the SheFinds newsletter.

3. The contest starts now and entries must be date stamped by our server no later than Friday, November 28st, 2008 at 11:59 AM Eastern Time to be eligible.

4. One winner will be selected during a random drawing and will be announced in the December 5th SheFinds newsletter. The winner must reply via email as instructed in the newsletter to claim the prize.

5. No prize substitutions.

6. You must be 18 years old or older to enter and a resident of the USA.

7. No purchase necessary.

8. Void where prohibited.

9. Click here for the full rules.

This strapless dress ($136, was $350) has lots of cute details, like berry trim and pockets.

A jeweled shift ($144, was $395) is a good holiday party piece when you need to be a bit more covered up.

More sales and deals on the web:

Now through Sunday, get 30% off fall styles at Vivre with coupon code PRIVSALE08.

Two for $99 cashmere sweaters at SmartBargains.

Take an extra 40% off select sale items at Bloomingdales.

The sample sale scoop – shop these sales today for big discounts:

Cole Haan and Rafe at Gilt Groupe

Ella Moss at Rue La La

J Brand, Alexis Hudson and Jamison at Hautelook

Gustto handbags at ideeli. Use invite code shefinds.com.

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