Ah men...sometimes they are just clueless when it comes to what women look for in a guy, and it's normal, since - according to author John Gray- we are from a different planet!
It's important to know that ladies pay attention to their man style and grooming as much as their own. Our first impression of a man is very critical and superficial (sad but true), so know that you send us a clear message through what style you wear. If you have ever been rejected on a first impression basis you need to know these basic facts. Here is a general directory of the messages we (ladies) might get through our first impression of a man style.
First item the ladies notice is the clothing:
Modern and Crisp, well put together style= the man has his life together, he takes care of himself and will take care of his lady. He enjoys the finer things in life and is confident about his future/our future together.
Shabby and wrinkled clothing = he doesn't care about himself, has no style, is very laid-back and may not have a job either. He doesn't know what he wants out of life and 'can only offer me the now, not a solid future'. Commitment phobic. He wants to have silly fun and probably wants to have pizza on the couch with his buddies instead of taking his lady out for dinner!
Out of fashion/ ill fitted clothes = his mother still pick his clothes or he tries too hard to be somebody he is not. He is insecure and doesn't know who he is! He probably has a good job, but he needs time to find himself by taking a good look at the surrounding world and find his place in it.
Then we notice the accessories:
Any watch? digital...oh oh, bad! Keep the digital watches for the Gym...pick a nice metallic watch (a heavy one), or a leather strap watch that send out a message of classiness.
Shoes = with fringes?...oh oh, old man! Stick with a modern style (regardless of your age), and match the shoes to the clothing style (classy shoes with classy clothes style and sporty shoes with sporty attires). When shopping ask for the lady/clerk's opinion - or two- on a suitable shoe style for you.
Wear a belt! A good-looking leather belt that matches the pants color or in the color family of the other accessories is always stylish. Even with jeans, a belt can dress them up.
Glasses = keep it modern; if the lenses are more than 5 years old, it's time to pick new frames! Glasses can be classy and extremely sexy on a man, as long as the frame suits the face shape: Keep the frame opposite to your face shape, square frame styles on a round face shape and oval or rounded frame styles on a squared face or strong jaw line.
Jewelry: a thick gold chain necklace is a bit old fashion, if you must do the chain keep it thinner. Silver and leather necklaces with funky pendants are modern and stylish on men, especially when layered in odd numbers. A man's bracelet is also stylish: metal, leather, fabric are all a good choice, even layered.
We, ladies, are very picky about men's grooming:
Greasy un-kept hair = sends out the same message as shabby clothing...and 'he hasn't taken a shower in days'. Take care of all your hair! Trim the annoying nose and ear hair (a huge distraction from the rest of your face). The chest hair is a personal thing with women, where some like it - some hate it...I personally don't mind a little patch (it's sexy!). Hair on the shoulders and back is a different story, it's just not sexy! More ware-wolfish!
As for leg hair on a man, I like it and cringe at the thought of a man's bare legs (but that's me!); I would leave it 'as is', unless the job or sport requires it!
Facial hair can be sexy too, take Johnny Depp or Colin Farrell kept/un-kept goatees! just take care of it and trim it to perfection to keep it stylish. A big grizzly beard is not very sexy, and sends out the "don't care/live in a forest" attitude.
Hands and feet = we ALWAYS look at well kept nails. It's ok for a man to get a manicure (actually I recommend it), minus the nail polish of course! Get a pedicure as well, it's nice to see exfoliated skin through the sandals. Nobody wants to deal with foot odour as well!
Have a bright smile, bleach your teeth and visit a dentist often to have a healthy odor free smile. For a kissable lip, exfoliate with a soft toothbrush and vaseline, then moisturize with chap stick.
Tattoos are a personal choice. I like a tattoo (or two) on a man, especially when it's not too visible through fancy clothing. The arm band tattoo on a well defined bicep is enough to make any woman wander how 'bad' this boy really is. A chest or back tattoo is also hot, as long as it is tasteful or artistic. The thing with tattoos is: every woman wants a gentle but tough guy and tattoos often send out that message (same way as a motorcycle does!). I recently encountered a man with a nice arm tattoo peeking through his short sleeve T-shirt, cradleing his little two month old daughter...I had a melt down!
Attitude is important too: 'wear' an attitude of confidence (not arrogance), nobody wants a desperate man! Don't be too farward when approaching women, be casual and confident. Don't use pick-up lines (so cheesy), opt instead for a sincere compliment that makes a woman blush...not gag! Something on the line of: "Hi, I noticed you from across the room, I'm John"...keep eye contact, smile, shake hands and wait for her response. P.S. Make sure she looks single (No rings or boyfriend nearby), and try to establish some eye contact before you make your move...you will avoid embarassing rejection.
But most of all be yourself, sport a smile and you will most likely be liked on the spot!
To sum it up: most women look for a stylish man who has his life together, takes good care of himself (body and soul). He has to be independent and show that he cares: a tough guy with a gentle soul. Know that what you wear sends out a loud message of who you are, and what you do; well...now you know, so no more excuses (or planet's accomodations)!